I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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