her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
