Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
