Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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