Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize