I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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