It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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