its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
