I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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