if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You may now shotgun with the bride
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
A+ Viking dick
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