After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
