she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
