u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
