you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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