a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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