You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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