i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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