My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
