i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Randomize
