the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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