Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
