ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
