like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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