There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
