hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
