i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
