I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
