Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
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I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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