She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
