You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
