I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
