I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize