Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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