I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
