Apparently you make a good broom.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
