I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize