is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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