Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize