The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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