I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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