I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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