And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
