You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
