TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
