I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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