He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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