Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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