dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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