**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
there is glitter all over my balls
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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