help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
