I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
