i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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