best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
