apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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