just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize