"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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