new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
