I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My hand turned me down
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
