i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
is it fun? or sober?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
