dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
