everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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