2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
