Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
