My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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