I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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