I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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